Countdown SPM: 12 days
Hmm.. Left 12 days,it's getting nearer now. Last night I was talking with my friends on phone ( We conference). My mum suddenly came into my room. I think she cried as her eyes were red in colour.
" Can you please talk to your dad?? Don't always show "black face" in front of him la! You know how we feel? What for I give birth to you..........."
I didn't answer anything. I feel so innocent when she asked me that. Furthermore, I feel hurt when she said me that way. Why am I born to this world?? A world that is so cruel, so evil. I tried to hide my feelings when I was talking with my friends.
When it's late in the night, whenever I'm alone, when I want to sleep dark in the night.. All the words pop up in my brain and I feel wanna cry. It really hurts!!!!!! You chose to born me and now you ask me what for giving birth to me. Why don't you just abortion?! Maybe it's better if I didn't born out. Everything may be fine then but what can you do as I already become a teenager?
It's not that I don't want to talk to my dad. It's that I can't find any topic to talk with. I didn't smile as I don't know is it right to smile in front of dad as he shows me his "black face" whenever I'm there. Now, come blame me and says that all are my faults. I really have enough. Can't you please leave me alone and let me do my things well. I can't do anything when I'm moody. I'm tired for all of these. What I want is peace, lovely family. Is it very hard to have one???
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5 comments:
er ... my view is that dun take heart of what ur mum said yeah... i know it's wrong to say things like that but we have to understand at times being a parent is not easy especially having to cover the whole family's issues. Ur dad sour face i dunno y but i'm sure something is bothering him. Since u dunno what to talk to him maybe just hope by and say something like "hey dad, how's ur day? Is something bothering you maybe u could like er share wit me if u dun mind". Let him know that although u might not be or much help as to them but at least u cared. Human need assurance and by doing so u r giving him assurance and it might act as a boost to him. At times a simple pat on his shoulder and a simple thank you can go a long way in boosting people's life. Always look on the bright side of life as thing r not that bad anyway. Every family has their own issues it's just how well a family cope up wit them which determine a happy family and a broken one. Cheer up yeah.
Thx for your kindness..
I really appreciate it..^^
Ahaha... just lending an ear to listen and help out... hope thing will get fine soon ^^
Thx o my fren^^
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